Amazingly, it was just 4 short weeks ago that the Cowboys were the toast of the NFC. As they entered the last quarter of the season, they stood at 8-4, coming off of a 4 game winning streak, poised to run the table against a rather weak schedule the rest of the way.

Or so it seemed.

With yet another no-show buy the Cowboy's beleaguered defence, Dallas limped out of Texas Stadium to a chorus of boos not heard around those parts since before big Bill Parcells came to town.

And deservedly so.

Now, I can whine about the horrible - and I do mean HORRIBLE - call against Terrance Newman on the opening play, when Roy Williams intercepted a pass and ran for a Touchdown, a mere seconds into the game. The play was called back because Newman hit the receiver after the pass passed him. It clearly was a ridiculous call and it immediately changed the beginning tone of the game.

But, alas, that wasn't what did our heroes in this day. Even with Tony Romo-mentum adlibing from the line of scrimmage and making a valiant game of it, the Cowboy's O-Line and D-Line played more like the 2-13 Lions should have than the 9-6, playoff-bound Cowboys did. If not for the tremendous efforts of Pro-Bowl bound DeMarcus Ware, they 'Boys could very well have let up 40, 50 or even 60 points.

They were THAT bad.

Detroit Lions offensive line, however, wasn't that much better. But then again, they couldn't have been worse. In fact, starting for the Lions was one Stephen Peterman. For you glutton's of punishment, Peterman was a high draft choice for the Cowboys three years ago. However, big Bill decided that the big guy simply couldn't play in this league.

Peterman not only played, but didn't allow a sack. In the meantime, Peterman's counterpart on Dallas, Marco Rivera, spent more time on sitting on his butt than taking on the ferocious (read: normally inept) Lion defensive line.

Now, I'm not really sure I understand what has happened to this team. Suddenly, the team that was crowned "most likely to defeat the Bears" has suddenly found themselves softer than Winnie the Pooh. In the last 4 weeks, they have surrendered 15 touchdown passes. At that rate, over an entire season, that would smash the NFL record by 10 (60-50).

You could blame part of it on the loss of Greg Ellis, who broke his leg about 2 months ago. But that's only part of the story. A big part of the blame, in my opinion, lies with head coach Bill Parcells.

Why? Because when Ellis went down, the man who should have replaced him was first-round draft choice Bobby Carpenter.

And why didn't Carpenter replace him? According to Bill, he wasn't ready. According to Bill Parcells, the guy picked with the 18th pick in the NFL draft wasn't ready to play a full 3 months into the season.

While lower picks Joseph Addai, Lawrence Mulroney, DeAngelo Williams, Devon Hester and Maurice Drew are tearing up the league, Bobbie Carpenter can't play.

Apparently, neither can Stephen Peterman, Aveion Cason and Dan Campbell - all starters for the Lions and rejects from big Bill's camps.

There is something wrong here and while I will not pin all the blame on Bill Parcell's shoulder's, I have to begin wondering if maybe he is no longer the come-all, be-all of NFL head coaches. In the four years since he arrived, he is yet to win a post-season game and hasn't come close to putting his team in a position to win a Super Bowl.

Maybe he gets one more year. After all, he did inherit a simply horrific team in 2003. But then again, that team reached the playoffs that year. Since then, big Bill has filled his roster with HIS guys.

The result? The same number of wins as last year (9), which is one less than he had his first year here (10).

While this season isn't yet over, I have little confidence this team can beat Seattle next week. Even if they should somehow stop Hasselback, Alexander and company, what follows will most assuredly be a trip to Chicago or New Orleans (or both). The way the Cowboy defense has been playing, the closest Dallas gets to either of these two cities is on DirectTV.

What the hell happened???

There are all sorts of stressful jobs in the world. You could be a soldier, a cop, you could be a heart surgeon or even just an orderly. Regardless, there is stress in a great many jobs. Imagine being the guy who has to clean Rosie O'Donnel's bathroom!

But, in my 44+ years on this planet, I have concluded that nothing is more stressful than bringing a 13-year-old boy and two 8-year-old boys to Toys-R-US on the day after Christmas.

For proof, I offer this scenario:

(In the parking lot) Me: Okay guys, I want you to be on your best behavior, No screaming or yelling and especially, no begging. We have a certain amount we can spend and then that's it. (The twins each had a $25 gift card, the older one had $50).

(Inside the store) Mendy (very loudly): Woah, AWESOME!!!

Elisha: Where are the video games?

Me: We'll get there. Let's just start at the beginning.

Elisha: I want a video game!

Mendy (very, very loudly): Daddy, come over here!

Elisha: I WANT A VIDEO GAME!

Me: In a minute Elisha, we'll get there. I can't leave your brother.

Mendy: DADDY!!!!

Mayer (oldest son): Dad, I'll take Elisha to the video games.

Me: Thank you. I just...

Mendy: DAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Me (rushing to Mendy): What is it, already?

Mendy: Look, it's the Lego set we have at home!

Me: You called me over for that???

Mendy: Yeah, isn't it cool?

Me: Well, yeah, Honey, but you have that already.

Mendy: I know, I just wanted to show it to you.

Me (turning to Mayer, who doesn't have Elisha): Where's your brother?

Mayer: I dunno.

Me: What do you mean, "you don't know?" I thought you were with him by the video games?

Mayer: Oh, I was. But then I started looking at the DVD's.

Me: And you just left him there???

Mayer: You didn't tell...

Mendy: DADDY!!!!

Mayer: ...to stay with him.

Me: Oh crap. Mayer, stay with Mendy. Find out what he wants and DON'T LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

Me (At the video game center, where Elisha is nowhere to be found): Excuse me, have you seen a little boy?

Clerk: You're kidding me, right?

Me: Okay, blue shirt, stripes, about 4 feet, 3 inches, wearing a little beanie like mine?

Clerk: Sorry, man, haven't seen him.

Me: Gee, thanks for all your help!

(Cell phone rings)

Me: Hello?

Wife: How's it going?

Me: Oh, great. Just lovely.

Wife: What does that mean?

Me: I am at Toy-R-US with our three sons. What the hell do you think it means?

Wife: Well, I'm guessing that Mendy is out of control and Elisha is lost.

Me: Thank you. Gotta go.

(Mayer and Mendy show up)

Mayer: Who were you talking to, Dads?

Me: Mommy.

Mayer: Yours? Or mine?

Me: Don't be smart. Help me find Elisha.

Mayer: Oh, he's over by the clothes.

Me: The clothes? Why there?

Mendy: I don't get it either, Daddy.

Me: Well (turning to Mayer), why didn't you bring him to me?

Mayer: Um (shrugs).

Me (finally finding Elisha): Sweetie, why are by the clothes?

Elisha: Look Daddy, these shoes have lights!

Mendy: COOL! Daddy, I want shoes with lights!

Me: I thought you wanted a toy?

Mendy: I do! I want light shoes too.

Elisha: I don't want them. I want a video game.

Me: Well, Mendy, do you want a toy or shoes? Mendy? Great, now we lost Mendy!

Mayer: I'll find him!

Here we go again...

We finally left Toy-R-Us about an hour later after somehow spending about twice as much money as I wanted to. But alas, that is the cost of actually getting them to leave the store.

So, what did this relatively intelligent 44-year-old, father of four, do next? I took them to another video game store of course. You didn't think they all got what they wanted at Toys-R-Us, did you?

If you did, you clearly either don't know my kids, or don't have any boys of your own.

Well, that's over with, finally. My son's Bar Mitzvah took place today - which explains where I've been all week - and while it was a beautiful affair, it was also exhausting, stressful and expensive. Thankfully, we are not among the crowd that believes that every Bar Mitzvah (or wedding) must be fancier, or more gaudy that the neighbor's. And in truth, we had a lot of help with the food and other expenses from family and friends, so I'm not really complaining. In fact, I am exceptionally humbled by the outpouring of help and support we did receive.

Anyway, the Bar Mitzvah was very nice and my son did better than I would have ever imagined.

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I'm cautiously optimistic about the Cowboys-Eagles game Monday. On paper, this isn't the same Eagles team that dominated Dallas earlier in the season. The optimism stems from the fact that this isn't the same Cowboys team either. My take on the game is that although Jeff Garcia has had great success since replacing an injured Donovan McNabb, and the Cowboys defensive backs have been reeling, Garcia's weakness is throwing the long pass. Since covering the log ball has been Dallas' weakness, I think the Cowboys D will be up to the task. On offense, I don't believe the Philadelphia defense can stop Dallas.

My prediction is Dallas 34 Philadelphia 24.

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Here's a cool site courtesy of my friends at Fark.com.

I really haven't much to say today...

The Dallas Cowboys won a game they needed and Tony Romo looked like he has recovered from his one and a half game slump. The defensive backs were burned too much, but that happens when you play a lot of man-to-man coverage, which the 'Boys did in order to avoid getting burned by Michael Vick's running.

All-in-all, it was a good win. Now, if we could just keep T.O.'s saliva in his mouth (maybe he should just keep the dang thing closed). Owens has proven that he's nothing but a punk with athletic skills. Can't wait to see what kind of life he'll have after football. My guess is he'll squander his money and end up in jail someday. I hope he gets a good financial advisor, or if that fails, a great attorney.

Of course, he could just hang around with the Chicago Bears or Cincinnati Bengals.

What else? I have no idea.

Apparently, neither does Time Magazine.

Why is everyone so in love with Barack Obama? Does anybody know what he stands for? Does he? Like John "I have a plan" Kerry, Obama's best credential (and perhaps his only one) is "electability". That worked out wonderfully for Kerry, didn't it?

Now word comes out that John Edwards is running again. Some one should tell him that if he lost partially due to inexperience, serving only one term and then leaving won't help him very much.

Oh wait. My bad. He's electable."

Matt Mosely at the Dallas Morning News' Cowboys Blog Asks what Jerry Jones should name the new mega-stadium that will be built in Arlington. I came up with a few, which posted in the comments section of his blog, including:

G-d's Stadium
Tom Landry Field at Dallas Cowboy's Park
The House that Roger Built
Crazy Ray's House of Pain
Labor Day Park, the Home of Jerry's Kids
Mike Lynn Stadium (after all, if not for him, Jerry may still be looking for that first Super Bowl ring)
The Football Park in Arlington
Yankee Stadium

Okay, maybe that last one was taken. Anybody else have any ideas?

**********

Why is Iran in such a tizzy over the fact that Israel claims it has nuclear capabilities? Aside from the fact that it proves without a Shadow of a doubt, the utter incompetence of the Israeli Prime Minister, isn't Iran arguing that they should have them as well? It would be one thing if they argued that since Israel has them, they should as well. But it's another thing to go to the UN and demand Israel disarm.

As far as any clear-thinking person is concerned, I would prefer the nukes to be in the hands of countries that wish life and peace in the world, not death and destruction. Iran can go shove it up their respective asses.

**********

I lived in Phoenix, Arizona for about 10 months back in 1989. At the time, both my wife and I became very aware that there is something quite off with the people of that town. It's hard to explain, but it just seemed the desert heat got to the natives. As far as the Jewish population was concerned, it was apparent by their numbers, as opposed to how many were affiliated with synagogues, that most of the Jews lived there as an escape from the Jewishness of Los Angeles.

Anyway, I read today that Phoenix-area Rabbis met with Jimmah Carter to discuss his latest psychotic anti-Semitic book "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid."

The Rabbi's response was that they wouldn't call for a boycott, but they also won't suggest that anyone read it either.

Smooth.

I guess I have reason #177 why I won't ever move back to Arizona.

**********

Air Force Brig. Gen. Mark O. Schissler says that the War on Terror could last as long as 50-100 years. I doubt it. I mean, I guess it's possible it could take that long to completely eradicate Islamofacism. But as long as we have Democrats in Washington, the war could end anytime. It could end when we cut and run, thereby leaving the mess to the next generation and possibly the generation after that. Or it could end when the enemy gets a hold of nuclear weapons.

So to me, it seems like General Schissler is hoping the country remains in the hands of the Republicans.

Good for him.

**********

And this story is just what happens when a small town and a slow news day combine:

At school, a potty break gone wrong

And though you try to justify the meaning
Of the note you sent this evening to my door
You're not deceiving me
Well, I'd have thought that you'd have known much better
Sending 'round an unsigned letter
Facing me would be much better now

Is it just that you can't face the future with me
Can't you tell me to my face
You just took the coward's way to say goodbye
How would you feel here in my place

And now I know my love is lost on you
And nothing you can say or do
Will turn my head around the other way
I'd have thought you'd have the decency to come and tell the truth to me
Instead of telling lies your eyes betray

Tell me to my face you're leaving now
Tell me to my face that you're leaving now

Well, that wasn't fun, was it?

I have to give it to Sean Payton and the Saints. They clearly outplayed, outcoached, outclassed my Cowboys from beginning to end. I do have faith in Tony Romo and the rest of the 'Boys for the next three games. While it looked bleak there while watching yesterday, it was, as they say, just one of those days. It brought back memories of the old Tom Landry-coached teams of the 70's. Those guys would lay an egg near the end of the season as well (usually against the Rams or Vikings and I think once against the Browns). But those teams appeared in half of all the Super Bowls played that decade.

In other news, what can be said about the Neturei Karta that hasn't already been said. For those unfamiliar with them, they are the very religious-looking Jews who are often seen demonstrating with their Arab friends and neighbors against the State of Israel. Their warped belief is that the Jewish State has no right to exist since it was not "officially" ordained from above. But that's not all. In addition to being against there being a Jewish homeland, they have been complicit in crimes - including sabotage and even murder - against other Jews.

My good friends at Yeshiva World have more on these so-called people.

What else...

Does anybody really care if we spied on Diana? My take is even if we did, no one will make a stink about it because it happened during the Clinton presidency. But if it were to have happened in the Bush White House??? Let's just say Armageddon wouldn't get as much press.

Man, I need some sleep...

Some day's you're the windshield and some day's you're the bug. That just the kind of day it's been. It's windy and I'm buggy. So therefore, I thought I'd share a little bit of my warped sense of humor with the following song.

Understand that I never post a song unless it has a meaning of some sort to me. Unfortunately, this song's purpose is known just to me and one other person and I'ma not tellin'.

It's poetry in motion
she turned her tender eyes to me
as deep as any ocean
as sweet as any harmony
mm - but she blinded me with science
"she blinded me with science!"
and failed me in biology

When I'm dancing close to her
"blinding me with science - science!"
I can smell the chemicals
"blinding me with science - science!"
"Science!"
"Science!"
mm - but it's poetry in motion
and when she turned her eyes to me
as deep as any ocean
as sweet as any harmony
mm - but she blinded me with science
and failed me in geometry

When she's dancing next to me
"blinding me with science - science!"
"Science!"
I can hear machinery
"blinding me with science - science!"
"Science!"
It's poetry in motion
and now she's making love to me
the sphere's are in commotion
the elements in harmony
she blinded me with science
"she blinded me with science!"
and hit me with technology

"good heavens Miss Sakamoto - you're beautiful!"

I - I don't believe it!
there she goes again!
she's tidied up, and I can't find anything!
all my tubes and wires
and careful notes
and antiquated notions
but! - it's poetry in motion
and when she turned her eyes to me
as deep as any ocean
as sweet as any harmony
mm - but she blinded me with science
"she blinded me with - with science!"

"Daddy?"

"Yes Mendy?"

"I don't want to brush my teeth today."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. Just don't want to."

"Well, I'll tell you what - I'll make a deal with you. Okay?"

"Okay. What kind of deal?"

"You only have to brush a few teeth if you want."

"Which teeth, Daddy?"

"Which ones? You decide. Only brush the teeth you wish to keep."

And with that begins a new day in the Zucker household.

BTW, here's a picture I took of my twins (Mendy is the goof) with Paul Konrad of WGN-TV.

For the story of our excursion to the WGN studios, click here.

This is the day
Of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers
Wild gamblers
That's all in the past

You call me a fool
You say it's a crazy scheme
This one's for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I'll make it this time
I'm ready to cross that fine line

I'll learn to work the saxophone
I'll play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whisky all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues

My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Libations
Sensations
That stagger the mind

I crawl like a viper
Through these suburban streets
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet
I'll rise when the sun goes down
Cover every game in town
A world of my own
I'll make it my home sweet home

This is the night
Of the expanding the man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I'll be what I want to be

I'm staying in today with a case of Romo-Fever!!!

It wasn't his best game, but it didn't need to be. Romo proved today that he does belong in this league after completing that 44-yard pass to Jason Witten in the closing moments - setting up for Martin "Automatica" Gramatica. It's amazing how he went from goat to hero in just 50 minutes of game play.

But give big Bill his due. It was his decision to promote Romo and it was his decision to bring in Gramatica (to replace ol' whatshisname).

Of course, it didn't hurt that the Giants play with about as much discipline as Brittney Spears. Their personal foul penalties alone should cause the ax to fall on Tom Coughlan's head. Eli Manning had perhaps his best game ever against the Cowboys and once again, the defense couldn't stop Tiki Barber. But this is far weaker team - in ability and in personality - than the one who whipped Dallas back in October.

So, just a month removed from crowning the Giants a "team of destiny" and the Cowboys losers once again, here comes Tony Romo to save the day. At 8-4, the Cowboys' hold a 2 game lead over New York, with 3 games remaining to be played at Texas Stadium (aganst New Orleans, Philadelphia and Detroit) and one in Atlanta. The division is theirs for the taking.

And considering the fact that Rex Grossman, the QB of the conference-leading Chicago Bears, posted an incredible passer rating of 1.3 (ouch) and you can understand my reasons for optimism.

So back home to Texas Stadium. My prediction (I don't know if I posted my pick for yesterday, but I had Dallas 24-10) for this week is Dallas 31-14.

And this is why I love Pearls Before Swine...