Have you ever been bullied? Have you ever felt the pain and humiliation that comes from being intimidated and demoralized by a classmate? Have you ever run home after being picked on so mercilessly, that you vowed never to return to school again?
I have and it is horrible.
For a child, there is nothing quite as devastating as being bullied. It destroys your self-esteem and lowers your perceived value in the eyes of the other children. I know, I know, kids can be cruel. However, when a child becomes the victim of a bully in school, on the playground or wherever, he is immediately marked. Other kids, in fear of being marked themselves, allow the bully to continue the abuse unabated.
Occasionally, the child will tell a teacher, but rarely. I mean, it's bad enough being marked, do you really want to known as a tattletale as well? If the child tells his parents, they're just going to make a big deal over it. All that would do is cause you become even more a target. In the eyes of a child, the only things you can do are either accepting it or suffer the consequences of reporting it. Either way, you lose. That's why some kids grow up either needing serious therapy, kill themselves or shoot up a school building. Most of us, thank G-d, go through the therapy route.
But, what happens to the bully when he gets older?
Unfortunately, for Terrence Philo, Jr., we found out. Terrence is a 13-year-old boy from Pleasantville, N.J. who was presented with a "Crybaby Award" at an awards banquet at his school. For those of you unaware of the story, the boy's coach called him just before last month's team banquet and told him to make sure he attended because he was getting a special trophy. His parents were very proud of him and quite excited to attend. During the banquet, all of his teammates received certificates and trophies. He was then called up to receive his award, and the coach told the crowd that Terrance was being honored with the "Crybaby Award" because "he begged to get in the game, and all he did was whine." When Terrence sheepishly got up to get his award, he heard laughter. According to his father, Terrence Sr., When the boy neared his coach, a man he always looked up to, he looked stunneembarrassedrrased.
It's unconscionable that a coach, a leader of young children, would do something so damaging and demeaning to this poor boy. Even if Terrance was a whiner or complainer, there are other, certainly less painful, ways to deal with his disproval. This man is not a coach. He is a bully who just has not grown up.
When questioned by reporters, Edwin Coyle, superintendent of the Atlantic County school district, said he would recommend that the unidentified coach receive some type of punishment.
SOME TYPE OF PUNISHMENT???
In today's "zero tolerance" society, where a kid is suspended for bringing an Advil to school, I should think that this guy should no longer be allowed any contact with children. This man, and I use that term very loosely, deserves expulsion AND possibly imprisonment. He is a child abuser. The Philo's should file a huge lawsuit against this coach, the school and the Atlantic County school district.
Imagine, just for a moment, being this kids' dad. I don't know about you, but as a parent, I can tell you that I would feel a tremendous amount of rage for what they had done to my child.
How dare he do this? What kind of sick pleasure could he possibly get embarrasing a 13-year-boy? This man, this very little man, should not be allowed to remain anonymous.
As a father and a bullying victim myself, I would do everything in my power to make the bully pay.
Editor's note -- Since writing this, CBS News reported that the coach, James Guillen, 24, a third-year special education teacher at the Pleasantville Middle School, was ordered to make a public apology, banned from coaching at the school and sent to sensitivity training. Read the story -- here.
It's not enough. This guy is a special ed teacher for goodness sakes. What a jerk.
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