Falwell: Jews can get to heaven
Thanks, Jerry. I was really worried there for a while.

Local woman angry over exploding toilet
Gee, I wonder why?

Man accidentally shoots himself while driving
Is that a gun in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?

Encourage sick leave in flu pandemic, firms urged
But be back by 9am

Police: Woman Bites Man's Ear Off
Mrs. Tyson decline interview

Study: Reading Key to College Success
To think I wasted all those hours drinking. Who knew?

DNA tests ordered for urine toolbox prank
Well, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go.

And I gotta go!