Tuesday, September 02, 2008

I love this post from my friends at IMOA:
Kos Kids and the Palin Rumors

So, if you haven't been following the crazies at Kos, here's basically what they've been saying about Palin:

Palin faked that she was pregnant with Trig to cover up that her daughter Bristrol was actually pregnant. When the baby was born and they found out he was black, so she bleached his skin to further conceal the truth. When nosy reporters got close to her secret, she killed a hobo, put the corpse in a gorilla suit, and froze it to claim she had bigfoot and cause a big media distraction. The hobo had hobo friends, though, and they started asking questions, so Palin had to murder them too and bury them in the middle of nowhere. But then there was a proposal to build a bridge to nowhere so she had to oppose that to keep people away from her secret. Then she still wasn't able to conceal the truth, so she forced Bristol to get pregnant again and changed the medical records so that it looked like Bristol was pregnant when Trig was born so Trig couldn't be hers. Finally, she joined a radical Alaskan separatist group to prepare to secede Alaska from America to join with Russia and wipe out the U.S. to fully conceal the truth.

Anyway, a good deal of the Kos Kwazies believe all this, while other argue that it's good to put out these rumors even if they aren't true, not realizing there isn't anyone outside of the Daily Kos dumb to believe any of this. So, what should we do?

I say we make a fund raiser to buy them helmets.

The people at the Daily Kos are obviously so dumb they are in constant risk of head injury. You may say, "So what. I want those left-wing nuts to have head injuries." That's just putting politics above basic humanity, though. We shouldn't want anyone to hurt their heads. So it's incumbent upon us to buy the Kos Kids helmets. That way they can type away safely, diving under a table when they think they hear Rove with less risk of head trauma. Also, we'll be able to spot them at political rallies in their nice new helmets and can give them cookies and milk to help them calm down.

That's what compassionate conservatism is all about.

Right on, Frank!

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