The 20 dumbest things said about Obamacare
1. SEN. BEN NELSON (D-NE): “My Vote Is Not For Sale Period.”
Rent? Well, that is different.
2. SEN. DICK DURBIN (D-IL): “I Would Say To The Senator From Arizona, That I’m In The Dark Almost As Much As He Is. And I’m In The Leadership.”
For some reason, Dick Durbin would be the last guy I would tell anything to.
3. SEN. JOE LIEBERMAN (ID-CT): “I Wonder If I Could Ask Unanimous Consent For Just An Additional Moment.”
SEN. AL FRANKEN (D-MN): “In My Capacity As Senator From Minnesota, I Object.”
LIEBERMAN: “Really? OK. Don’t Take It Personally.”
Seriously, Minnesota, you couldn’t just find another 313 votes for Norm Coleman somewhere?
4. SEN. MAX BAUCUS (D-MT): “I’ll Just Read. This Is From Wikipedia. It May Not Be Accurate.”
To be fair, at least Wikipedia didn’t invent 440 congressional districts.
5. SEN. HARRY REID (D-NV): “If They Don’t Have Something In It Important To Them Then It Doesn’t Speak Well Of Them.”
The absolutely worst Yogi Berra impressionist ever.
There’s an explanation. You see, in April there were only 59 Democratic senators, so he was the 59th…
7. SEN. ROLAND BURRIS (D-IL): If “It Does Not Have A Public Option In It, I Will Not Vote For It.”
In his native Blagojevichese that means add a few more zeroes to that check.
8. SEN. BOB CASEY (D-PA) On Medicare Advantage Cuts: “We’re Not Going To Be Able To Say ‘If You Like What You Have, You Can Keep It’ … And That Basic Commitment That A Lot Of Us Around Here Have Made Will Be Called Into Question.”
And the answer is always the same: Add more zeroes to the check.
9. SEN. MARY LANDRIEU (D-LA): “Yes, We’ve Had To Raise Some Taxes And Fees To Pay For This Bill.”
Hey, someone has to pay for all those zeroes.
10. SEN. SHELDON WHITEHOUSE (D-RI): “They Have Ardent Supporters Who Are Nearly Hysterical At The Very Election Of President Barack Obama: The ‘Birthers,’ The Fanatics, The People Running Around In Rightwing Militias And Aryan Support Groups.”
Way to offer a cogent and rational counterargument.
11. SEN. KENT CONRAD (D-ND) On The CLASS Act: “‘A Ponzi Scheme Of The First Order, The Kind Of Thing That Bernie Madoff Would Have Been Proud Of,’ And He Vowed To Block Its Inclusion In The Senate Bill.”
Which in his native Conradese means add some zeroes to the check.
12. SEN. DICK DURBIN (D-IL): “It Will Be On The Internet 72 Hours Before We Take A Vote.”
And as everyone knows, 72 senatorial minutes is the same as 72 hours elsewhere.
13. SEN. BERNIE SANDERS (I-VT): “The Insurance Companies Are Going To Make Out Like Bandits. The Drug Companies Are Going To Make Out Like Bandits… No Question About That. This Is Not A Strong Bill.”
Which explains his vote later for it: Bandits watch out for one another.
14. SEN. MAX BAUCUS (D-MT): “I Can’t Do The Correct Math.”
Quick, call Barbie. Maybe she can help out the Chairman of the Senate Budget Committee.
15. SEN. DICK DURBIN (D-IL): “The Establishment Of Social Security… I Remember Those Days.”
“It is a step consistent with the establishment of Social Security, which finally took the worry away from seniors and their families about what would happen to grandma and grandpa when they stopped working. I remember those days.” (
Social Security passed in 1935. Durbin was born in 1944. The Time Machine was invented in 2237.
16. SEN. TOM HARKIN (D-IA): “I Have Said Many Times That The Two Biggest Winners Under Our Health Care Reform Bill Are Small Businesses And The Self-Employed.”
Well, I suppose you can consider the 111 federal agencies that this act will create “small businesses.”
17. Dec. 5. SEN. HARRY REID (D-NV): “The American People Don’t Get Weekends Off From This Injustice.”
Dec. 9, SEN. HARRY REID (D-NV): “I had one senator come to me and said that she hadn’t been home now in two or three weeks and it was not a good situation. … I see no reason to punish everybody this weekend.”
Apparently, not even Harry Reid listens to Harry Reid anymore.
18. SEN. MARY LANDRIEU (D-LA): “The Fact Of The Matter Is, And I Know People Don’t Believe This, But I Can’t Be Bought.”
Technically true since by the time she said that, she was already bought.
19. SEN. MAX BAUCUS (D-MT): “Just for a second — health care reform, whether you use a ten-year number or when you start in 2010 or start in 2014, wherever you start at, so it is still either $1 trillion or it’s $2.5 trillion, depending on where you start.”
How nice that the Senate put the arithmetically cchallenged in charge of the budget committee.
20. SEN. ROLAND BURRIS (D-IL): “Twas The Night Before Christmas And All Through The Senate.”
I am not sure, was this recited before he said he would not vote for it or after.