Sunday, June 07, 2009

Why I'm Now Voting Democrat

I came across a few of these and added my own to the list. I think I may have written a similar post a few years past, but it's still quite apropos:

I'm now voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my new car.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe that illegal aliens should have the same rights of citizenship as me even though they don't have to pay for it.

I'm now voting Democrat Because it's easier to blame my country for 9/11 then it is to blame the men who flew those planes into the World Trade Center.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I ever would.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe schools should teach U.S. History the way the Government thinks it should be taught, even if it means it has to be re-written for the textbooks.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe that all those people in Canada who come to the US for better health care only get sick once they arrive here and are now stuck in our flawed hospitals.

I'm now voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as Muslims aren't offended by it.

I'm now voting Democrat because Hollywood actors who pretend for a living and little or no real education know more about history and the World than I do.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe that Americans who have been burned by years purchasing poorly made cars will suddenly embrace GM cars now that they are being designed by bureaucrats.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe that there are companies that are too big to fail.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe Capitalism no longer works and we should follow the European socialist model - even though European socialism is slowly being replaced by Islam.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe the color of someone's skin is the most important qualification a President should have (same goes for a Supreme Court nominee).

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe the words a President uses are more important that his actions.

I'm now voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe Iran - a nation that sits on more oil than any other - only wishes to use nuclear energy for peaceful reasons.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe that Jews do not have the right to live in East Jerusalem, but that Arabs can live in Tel Aviv.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe that Joe the Plumber's question to Obama is invalid because he doesn't have a plumber's license (which isn't required for the work he does).

I'm now voting Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe child rapists can be rehabilitated.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe that destroying Clarence Thomas was fair and reasonable, but questioning Sonia Sotomayor on her own remarks is racist.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe it's arrogant to spread freedom and democracy.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe Nancy Pelosi is the most ethical Speaker of the House this country has ever known.

I'm now voting Democrat because I don't really care about the thousands of political prisoners who have been (and are being) tortured by the Castro brothers in Cuba.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe France not allowing students to cover their hair is morally equivalent to the Muslim tactic of stoning women for getting an education.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe American sovereignty should be determined by the United Nations.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe their is a moral equivalence between the Holocaust and Israel's invasion of Gaza.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe building a wall to protect Israeli citizens from terror attacks is a form of Apartheid.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe the best way to help our economy is to bankrupt our children and grandchildren.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe the same people who run the DMV are far better at caring for our health care than doctors and nurses.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I'm now voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as IT sees fit.

I'm now voting Democrat because even though people like Barney Frank and Chris Dodd are largely responsible for the financial mess we are now it, they are well suited to get us out.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe digging is the best way to get out of
a hole like spending is the best way to get out of a recession.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

I'm now voting Democrat because the principles that made this nation the
greatest in history are flawed and must be "fundamentally changed" for the
greater good. Government is better than private. A guarantee is better
than ambition.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe free speech laws should protect me against conservatives, but not protect conservatives from me.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe it is not fair that Keith Olbermann is less popular than Rush Limbaugh and I believe it is the governments job to fix the disparity.

I'm now voting Democrat because I believe not only am I always right, but conservatives are always stupid.

If you have any of your own to add, I'd love to hear them.

2 comments:

Allison said...

These are really good Shayne. I'll pass them around. So funny!

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